Making Room In My Foxhole

Reading this and this prompted me to think about my own list. For someone who has seen and experienced so much in the trenches, I'm still sticking to the simple things that are deeply rooted and strong enough to weather the complexities of love.

1. is self-aware
2. knows what he wants in life
3. has a self-assurance that is unshakeable in adversity
4. quietly strong and determined
5. can listen to my musings without judgment
6. is capable of surprising me with little gestures that resonate in my soul
7. holds my hand every chance he gets
8. is not self-absorbed but rather, capable of deep compassion for others
9. can make me laugh
10.encourages me to pursue my interests and hobbies
11.is someone who's open to experiencing the things I do
12.is someone who would love to go running with me
13.likes to read as well
14.someone who I can talk to about so many things
15.lean and fit
16.is willing to understand my quirks
17.knows how to take the lead in situations when I would expect him to take the lead
18.insightful
19.has convictions that I share and/or respect
20.is strong in faith
21.loyal to the end

Jury Duties I Would Love To Do

Sabi nga ni Bob Ong...

Salamat kay Irene for compiling these Bob Ong quotes. Mas lalong gusto ko na tuloy bumili ng libro nya at spend a day doing nothing except magbasa.

1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."
2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."
3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."
4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."
5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."
6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din."
7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."
8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."
9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."
10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."
11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."
12. "Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima , sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."
13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."
14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."
15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."
16. "Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala"
17. "Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan"
18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"
19. "Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo."
20. "Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."
21. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.."

Allergic Reaction

This is partly inspired by JC's tongue-in-cheek comment that he's allergic to books and that he doesn't like spending time in bookstores because he get's this weird reaction from the smell of books. Now, I have a huge respect for JC despite the usual banters and often garapal na pang-aasar namin ni Badette sa kanya. But I think I never really believed what he said to be even remotely possible. I just thought of it as one of his barber's tales.

Two days ago, though, I seriously began to think about the statement. Not that I'm beginning to believe that he's actually telling the truth, but just the possibility that outrageous and unbelievable reactions can be true.

What triggered this weird thought was that unfortunate meeting last Thursday where I literally felt I was suffocating and choking (while fervently wishing that I wasn't showing it) when the discussion zeroed in on methods.

Don't get me wrong here, I have absolute faith in methods and for someone who delivers results (or tries to anyway), I'd say I'm not really lacking in focus or organization skills. But, and that's a big but there, I'm not a fan of plan everything in detail and make sure you do it as you said you'd do it.

I haven't paid much attention to my reactions before but now that I look back, I remember feeling extremely uncomfortable when I'm asked to do it. Worse, I feel that I waste so much time agonizing on how to do the planning that I actually end up spending more time on it than doing what I'm planning to do.

It's not that I don't believe in it but I don't think I'm good at it. And there lies the constant challenge. I seriously think I need help here. I'm contemplating buying a software to help me manage all these project management plans and stuff. I'm not just equipped with the right skills and knowledge on what's the best way to produce plans that look professional enough to merit some measure of trust.

I won't shy away from this challenge, honestly, I won't. I just wish to admit it to myself that this is something that really bothers me. I'm not good at this, at the moment. I'm sure I'll be good at it when I set my mind to it. For now, I'll just have to bite the bullet and get on with it. But that's just for the nice-looking plans I need to make.

On another note, I learned this morning that I'm not a gofer. Stephen R. Covey defined Gofer Delegation as "Go for this, go for that, do this, do that, and tell me when it's done". And that is exactly the kind of paradigm which, unfortunately, tends to trigger all these weird reactions from me (*thinks allergy*).

According to Stephen Covey, there's another approach which is Stewardship Delegation. He posits that in stewardship delegation, the focus is on results instead of methods. He adds that it "involves clear, up-front mutual understanding and commitment regarding expectations on desired results, guidlines, resources, accountability, and consequences".

This stewardship idea looks infinitely attractive from where I'm standing. The expectations seem straightforward and I don't think that would prove to be much of a challenge to a committed person like me. But then again, I could only wish so much in a day. Everything in due time and everything happens for a reason.

In the meantime, I'll have to work double-time to equip myself with the right skills and tech-savviness to produce kick-ass project management plans.

Enough Could Mean Almost Anything

Okay, I admit, little persistent me doesn't find it easy to let go. I find it easy to come up with crazy thoughts like *I think I've had enough of this shit. I'll try to go off-course for a bit and test the waters. Who knows? A change of course may just be what I need.*

But I'm such a sucker to obligations that I tend to end up not doing anything about my decisions. Then something happens that just makes me do things without thought or reason. It's when I stand up, go, not look back, and not feel anything but absolute freedom and lightness. More importantly, I feel the bliss of overcoming extreme reactions to things that pushed me to the edge.

I like it when I'm in that zone. That's the place where nothing else matters except what matters to me. Sometimes, enough simply means: step back and breathe. This makes me think really hard now, how often do I say enough? And what do I really think about saying enough? Does it mean I cop out? Or is it just a reminder to consistently find time to step back and see if the course is good to continue on or a little veering off is needed.

I've said enough last week. I even challenged myself to do things, most of them I routinely do before anyway, just so I'd wake myself up from this stupor I'm in. Still, after seven days, I haven't even started doing most of them. I didn't even thought much about them. Until last night when I suddenly and strongly felt I've had enough. It was in that moment that without any conscious thought, I called it a day and went home much much earlier than usual.

Enough doesn't mean I'm copping out. Enough is not being irresponsible. Enough is just a temperature check that could mean almost anything. Now, what I do after I've indulged myself with all these enough business is another story. And that should be enough fodder for my blogs.

Coaching Seminar

Organized by the Amateur Rowing Association of the Philippines (ARAP) under the auspices of the International Rowing Federation (FISA) and Olympic Solidarity.

I Dare Me

To:

• Wake up at 5:00am everyday.
• Get back to running at least three times a week.
• Run at least 3K per running day.
• Pay more attention to what I eat.
• Do something new and something difficult every day.
• Avoid overstaying at work.
• Read at least two (2) books per month.
• Watch a movie at least twice a month.
• Visit a salon more often (once a month is a good start).
• Go back to the habit of reading newspapers.
• Always remember Upward Bound.
• Work on lessening my carbon footprint.
• Inspire others to embrace carbon neutrality.
• Learn, improve, excel as a FISA Umpire.
• Go back to Sanshou training.
• Join dragon boat training on weekends.
• Write more.
• Keep in touch with family and friends.
• Make it a habit to smile even to strangers.
• Live a life of gratitude.
• Count my blessings.
• Keep the passion burning.
• Always believe even when things get tough.

Safety Measures Bordering On The Absurd

Now, this news report could be funny if I could get past the absurdity of it. It seems that Vietnam's Ministry of Health recently proposed to introduce a driving ban for small-chested, too short, or too thin people.

If you have ever been to Vietnam, it wouldn't really be much of a surprise to hear such an outrageous proposal. It's easy to imagine the dangers those motorbike drivers and the pedestrians face every day. I have never seen that huge number of motorbikes on the road and the utter disregard for pedestrians anywhere else. I can still remember my constant fear of crossing the roads in Ho Chi Minh. I don't think it was intentional on the motorbike drivers' part but there's no obvious concern for pedestrians whose main goal is to just cross the street and get from point A to point B. Clearly, in HCM and I believe in most of Vietnam, the motorbike drivers are the kings of the roads.

It's easy to understand, really, the challenge of looking after the safety of these drivers and the hapless pedestrians. However, to prohibit small-chested, too short, and too thin people from driving motorbikes is probably the closest brush to the absurd that I can think of. Isn't that a discrimination of sorts? Why would people's "perceived handicaps" become the criteria if they can drive or not? Aren't there more important measures or guidelines that the government can focus on?

From what I recall, some of the drivers there don't even follow the most basic rules like respecting the pedestrians right of way (geez, that's what those pedestrian lanes are for). I can still remember that one truck driver that I saw who wasn't even looking straight ahead even if there were people attempting to cross. What's up with that? It made me think that there were no existing rules at all. But I guess that was just me struggling with my innate fear of crossing roads and placed in a most challenging situation of learning survival skills in the streets of HCM.

But despite those memories, I still think of HCM as the most quaint and wonderful place to visit. I like the people there. I was amazed of how "healthy" they look to me. In all my twenty-one days of stay there, I haven't seen any obese Vietnamese. So I can easily imagine the effect of this planned proposal should it see the light of day. I wonder how many would be left to legally drive motorbikes there.

I would be very interested to know how this plan pans out.

Photo from: http://www.nytimes.com/