You Always Learn When You Run

I bought Haruki Murakami's What I Talk About When I Talk About Running last Sunday. I didn't hesitate to buy it even if I'm not very familiar with his works. Somehow, I was drawn to both the title and the image of the author running printed on the book's cover.

I was curious to know what this writer/runner would say about running. I've been toying about the idea of putting into words my own experience with it but I still haven't reached that point where I'm confident enough to do it. There's just so many intense emotions and thoughts involved.

Haruki Murakami captured the essence and poignantly translated into words something that a lot of people can either understand or imagine. It was like being there myself. It was like a shared reality. The actors, scenes, and conditions are different but there was one common ground. A passion and commitment to something that no amount of pain or suffering can stop.

There was something that he said that made me think about a lot of things. He said, "It's not much fun to be misunderstood or criticized. But rather a painful experience that hurts people deeply." It is a reality that no amount of idealism or hope can erase. I think there's always a purpose to that. In running, people don't do it because it's all fun. The longer the distance, the more painful it gets.And yet, despite all that, more and more people are drawn to it. I think it's because once you get to experience being truly alone in that moment where you vividly see and feel everything, you begin to understand more of yourself.

That fine line between pain and pleasure

Sixty Seconds' Worth of Distance Run

I just had this sudden longing for 24 hours dedicated to sloth-like existence. I am thinking empty calendar, no expectations, no responsibilities, and no rush. Just slow, blissful minutes of nothingness.

But right now, that is just an imaginary state. It is Saturday and I am up and about for another round of meetings for the upcoming Wushu national championship. While doing that, I am silently berating myself for not having started reviewing the FISA rules yet. Barely three weeks before jury duties and I still have not opened the book even just to pretend making an effort to read.

It appears that April is definitely NOT a slow month. Work. Running. Wushu. Rowing. FISA. Capoeira. Futsal. And of course, more importantly, those advocacy projects that are in the pipeline.

So, what is there to do when there is just too many things to do? Nothing much, except smile, breathe, and make that sixty seconds' worth of distance run.

At the Pinay in Action Race '08

I first heard of the Pinay in Action advocacy from Ani. We were at the airport, waiting for our flight when she told me about it. I was really fascinated by it that I vowed to join the Pinay in Action race that she said they organize annually. And this was before I took up running again.

Looking back, I guess it was what triggered me to run again. It reminded me of just how good it feels to run, more so if it is for cause. It did not harm either that eight days with Ani in the JASA study tour further inspired me as to the kind of people behind the advocacy. Ani epitomizes a Pinay in Action woman and based from the many conversations we had about this topic, Sen. Pia Cayetano is another inspiring figure behind it.

I felt strongly about this cause because it has issues and concerns that resonate. They beg to be addressed. But more than that, I feel that people like the movers behind this intiatives deserve to be celebrated. And I cannot think of a much better way to do that but to share their gift of inspiration and action to my friends.

Suffice to say, I was so looking forward to joining the race that I invited my friends to participate as well. Hence come race day, I was happy beyond words to see friends from the different pit stops I have had in my journey:

1. ISM friends: Lizeth, Lidie, Tita Myrna (with her daughter), Chrizelle (also with her daughter)

2. Dragon Boat Rowing friends/Manila Dragons teammates: Anna Liese, Mary, Rizzo, Anton (no pictures...)

3. Officemates/former officemates: Bixie, Macky, Mayee, Badette

I think that it was truly a great day to be out so early in the morning and be with friends. It was a great day to celebrate the different facets of being a woman. It was a great day to appreciate humanity and realize that we can all be the best of what we can be regardless of our gender.

Staying Hungry

The Pinay In Action race earlier was another one of those occasions when I get to be introspective. Probably it was because it is when I am running or doing something that is really testing my resolve that I tend to really draw from the inside.

I noticed that most times, it is when I am going inward that I appreciate what is outside more. I think it is part of the realization that what I am is a result of how I was honed, and continue to be honed, by the million things happening around me. I aim not to pass by. I want to be truly part of the world, to be in it and to be fully alive.

This morning, my only thought was I wanted a better time than my previous run. That was my only goal and nothing else mattered. Not even the pain in my old injury can stop me.

I reached the finish line exactly 8 minutes faster than my last race. It was not the 10 minutes I wanted but it was close. But more than the joy of having accomplished that, I had the chance to think about this insatiable hunger I have. It is a life of staring at a plate brimming with so many things...a plate that just keeps getting filled.

This is probably why I was so moved when I first read this. I guess I will always be hungry that way.

The birds that flocked together

Egad! I missed...

the conversations

the vibrant atmosphere of a crowd that breaks the silence of dawn

the magic of sunrise

and the beauty of the sky as it lights up.

What is it exactly that makes people willingly pay for something that is guaranteed to make them suffer for xx number of minutes? It is hard to explain really. But there is that something that draws people to this kind of life. Most times, it is just better to find the answers in the midst of the fun and action. There, the answer will come with such absolute certainty.

Proudly running

" Me and Running

Don't always see eye to eye

Some days it hurts more than others. But it doesn't mean

I can't do it. I deal with it and I keep running because

NOT EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD FOR YOU ALWAYS FEELS GOOD FOR YOU.

EVERY DAY IS THE DAY"

I immediately fell in love with this wallpaper the moment I saw it. It echoes everything I feel about running, but I couldn't have said it better.

I think that there's a kind of magic in running. The minute I hit the road, I know that it's going to be a different run than the last one I did and that always make the prospect of running more exciting. I know that when I'm out there it's going to be me with the world. Everything unfolds in majestic silence and I'm being part of it.

Most times, I catch myself carrying on about this whole running business as if I'm a good runner. But nothing can be much farther from the truth. I don't even consider myself an average runner. In fact, I suck at this whole running thing. Running is my pain. And I love it.

There's an inexplicable freedom and joy in every stride and in every heartbeat that goes with all my pain. It's always a contest, between my mind and my heart. It's feeling the hurt and conquering all doubts and weakness. It's me against that part of me that wishes me to stop.

I have never won a running race. That's still labeled under someday. For now, I'm happy with my collection of victories. I know that in all those times I've gone outside and ran beyond hurting, I've won against that part of myself that always tells me I can't do it.

Running image is from here.

Running "easy" on the pathways of Shinagawa

I spent my first morning in Tokyo running on the streets and pathways of Shinagawa. The crazy part was, not only did I run for one hour, which I usually do only when I register for a 10K fun run, but I ran with Ani who is a national team triathlete/coach.

I first thought that we would somehow separate after we leave the hotel. I mean, I know how triathletes train and I was thinking there is no way I can keep up with her. I have not been running for what seems like ages. I took up jogging again once a week last month and only logged between 2.5 to 3K tops each run.

So there I was at 7:00 AM, walking out of the Grand Prince New Takanawa hotel with Ani and thinking how stupid I was not to have thought of wearing a jacket. The air was crisp and I was feeling cold by the time we turned the first corner. Then Ani told me that we could run together since she will just do "easy" training. She said we will run for an hour the we will go back.

Cool, I said. And then we ran. In less than 10 minutes I did not feel cold anymore. I actually began to enjoy looking at the scenery around me. Thirty minutes into the run I began to question the logic of what I was doing. I was still feeling good, but this was when I started thinking that a triathlete's easy pace is different from an ordinary person's definition of easy.

But I was really having fun running with Ani by the time I began feeling the discomforts that I resolved to try stick to the plan and finish it with her. I mean, I know that she was really running easy so I thought I should just do my best to keep up with her.

Fortunately, I was able to quickly slip into my forcefield and focus on the task at hand. I am really glad I did not listen to those tiny little voices in my head telling me that I cannot do it. My resolve is such that I felt a lot of feelings that brought me back to another time, another life (back when running is part of a daily routine and exercise is not just a whim). I am happy to realize that somehow, that part of me is still there and that I can draw a lot from it when and if I have to.